Five weeks had passed in McLeod Ganj. It was beginning to show. All the signs were in place: I had begun retching at the sight of beaded necklaces and foaming at the lips at the sound of bongo jam sessions (I’m not joking, they happen). Although I have been known to enjoy its stranger aspects, I had grown weary of the traveller scene, of which McLeod Ganj is a regional capital, with its endless procession of ‘laid back’ budget traveller ‘hangouts’ – by which I mean bizarre Western-Indian hybrid restaurants or cafes piping out soothing ethnic music, with hippies wrapped up in shawls stationed in their dark corners dozing or, worse, making loud conversation with other hippies about whatever they happen to be ‘thinking’ of that day. ‘You know, the thing I’ve found about India is…. (insert nauseating cod-profundity here).’
I hope I have painted a suitably lurid picture – because it is lurid (trust me), and quite enough to chill the blood of any sensible Englishman, for whom enlightenment is an altogether distasteful project and yoga an inoffensive form of physical exercise, nothing more. When you start moaning about ‘bloody white people’ you know its time to move on to somewhere a little less trodden over. And so I took the bus to Chamba, a town in north-western Himachal Pradesh – to accept the wholesome sandwich of destiny that fate would serve me.
It was a change to another extreme: I must have been the only ‘bloody white person’ in a hundred mile radius. Only bloody Indians – friendly, expansive Indians, I must add. Living in such a cosmopolitan country as England (less so Scotland, but still), it can come as a surprise just how racially uniform much of the rest of the world is. Despite the monolithic north-south/Aryan-Dravidian divide, a small and dwindling population of Chinese in Calcutta, and the notable exception of the heavily tribal areas of Chhattisgarh, Orissa, and the North-Eastern states (Mizoram, Manipur, Nagaland and so on), India is a strikingly mono-ethnic nation. Even metropolitan centres like Delhi and Bombay are completely free of the ethnic ghetto-isation that characterise cities in the West; there is nothing akin to the Latino or Russian ‘quarters’ you’d find in New York, or the Thai restaurants run by immigrant Thais you’d find in London. Just a hell of a lot of Indians – 1.2 billion of them, last I saw. An Indian equivalent of the BNP wouldn’t know where to start – there simply aren’t enough foreigners to blame stuff on (although Muslims too often constitute the other in Indian society, as BJP rhetoric has been known to attest to).
It is one of the most striking imbalances between first and third world nations, a cosmopolitan drain from the south to the global north. Perhaps the see-saw will tip the other way, with the decline of Euro-America and the rise of Chindia, as the dual (if uneven) rise of the two nations has been crassly labelled. Imagine: the British, a beleaguered minority in India, descendants of economic migrants, populating the more deprived sectors of Delhi and Bombay – not inconceivable. Britain has certainly become a less appetising place in which to forge one’s career/fortune, and even America has lost something of its promised-land allure. There are certainly far fewer Indians seeking a fresh start for themselves and their families in Britain. Why would they want to go there? Far better to move to Bombay and live in one of its festering slums, waiting for the breaks that land for the lucky few.
I had arrived in Chamba right smack in the middle of the annual harvest festival: something of a park fair held on a football pitch, complete with ferris wheels, candyfloss vendors, promotional stalls, a stage hosting god-awful Hindi pop music performances (which extended far into the night, cutting into my precious sleep) and no discernable reference to agriculture. It proved a mixed blessing for me. Although I got to witness a bizarre and slightly grotesque parody of English fairground culture, which is always fun, finding a room for the night was a prolonged, harrowing nightmare. I eventually found somewhere, at double this price it should have been, and went off to see Chamba’s historic and rather beautiful temples, which relieved an otherwise rather dull, workaday provincial town.
I headed to Bharmour the next morning. My guidebook described the road there as a ‘perilous track prone to frequent landslides.’ No understatement; it was one of the most terrifying three and a half hours of my life. I’d almost sooner sit through David Fincher’s The Curious Case of Benjamin Button again. Wait, actually, no; I’d rather fancy my chances with tumbling boulders. Anyhow, I arrived at around lunch time, safe and thankful, without having faced any serious challenges to my mortality. The entrance to the small town was framed by a multi-coloured, fairy-cake archway of lurid pinks and blues, with the gods Hanuman and Ganesh stood in giant relief on either pillar – the cheery sentinels of Bharmour.
Many complain about the creeping Punjabi-isation of Himachal Pradesh. Punjabis, I must add, with their allegedly course speech and manners and brash displays of wealth – theirs is the richest state in the country – are subjected in India to the similar sort of snobbery the British reserve for the ‘done-good’ Essex man. Delhi, for instance, is often said to have been ‘invaded by the Punjab’, and it is true that Punjabi immigrants make up much of Delhi’s new entrepreneurial class. Bharmour, however, remains the stoutly traditional home of the Gaddi Rajputs – a pastoral, goat-grazing people with their own language and idiosyncratic store of Hindu folklore, and one of the indigenous peoples of the Indian Himalaya.
I once had a rather bizarre conversation – more of lecture, as I noted half an hour into it – with a Gaddi travel agent in McLeod Ganj. The man launched into a mournful paean to his (apparently) dwindling people, and the ignominy they had suffered under the incursions of mainstream Indian society, with its aberrant plans for the ‘modernisation’ of their ancestral lands. He went on and on, as I sat there nodding, claiming the Gaddi to be the original guardians of India’s natural inheritance, who still considered the Aryans (the stock from which North Indians generally derive their ancestry) to be foreign intruders who continue to misuse and exploit their land.
It was the stuff of a tear-jerking Bollywood historical epic – The Last of the Gaddis, in which evil pot-bellied developers start crapping all over the sacred wood, until a young hero (whose parents are savagely killed by a JCB in the opening frames) takes up the family bow-and-arrow, unused since the days of his great grandfather, and begins the fight for his people. A few song-and-dance numbers may need to thrown in, a crafty Pakistani would need to rear his head at some point, and large-breasted women in wet saris might need to gyrate inexplicably around the hero for a bit – but that should be enough to secure some Bombay mafia funding.
Bharmour itself had a collection of exquisite ancient Shiva temples arranged around a paved square at the heart of town, which also served as school yard where smartly dressed children ran around hitting each other. That was about it – so I headed out of town onto the hillside that rose steeply above Bharmour, with the purpose of stumbling awkwardly into the traditional Gaddi villages that dotted the area. This I did with zest.
The peasant locals didn’t know what hit them; as with Chamba, I was the only foreigner around. Kids spotted me from a while off, peering through their wooden window frames, and began jumping up and down, unable to contain their excitement at the approach of a sweaty white man in a Tintin in Tibet t-shirt (a bit of McLeod Ganj chic there). Old men in grimed waistcoats, hunched over their walking sticks, stared at me with a mixture of suspicion and dry amusement – some ventured to ask the question I have lobbed at me several times a day in South Asia: ‘what is your country?’ (Often suffixed with ‘sir’ or ‘friend’, and sometimes extended into an elaborate interrogation session, in which my name, my age, my marital status and my father’s job is teased from me with steely determination.) The women, normally a diminutive bunch in India, looked up from their weaving or dusting or clothes-thrashing to grin warmly at me. Even the livestock appeared interested, albeit a little disturbed.
I have yet to receive this sort of treatment in a British country village – although I would certainly welcome it. What with the industrial revolution, we no longer have any proper peasants to speak of (except maybe in Wales, but that’s just Wales, and they’re welcome to them). Shame. I want our peasants back.
I made my way upwards through the roughly paved streets of a Gaddi village. The houses were handsome, crumbling rectangles supported by finely carved wooden beams and sheltered with layerings of slate tiles. They followed a simple rustic formula: humans on the overhanging first floor, cows and chickens on the cracked stone courtyard beneath, with a warped wooden ladder connecting the two. Children with healthy layers of dirt on their faces teased the cows as they munched thoughtfully on dry grass and shat elegantly onto the paving stones. Women with patterned headscarves returned from the fields at sunfall with wicker baskets of freshly scythed crop on their backs. Elderly patriarchs sat smoking pipes, framed in their door lintels. It was precisely this sort of bucolic rural Arcadia, belying a hardy lifestyle, which drew me to this remote corner of Himachal Pradesh. I am an unrepentant Orientalist. Edward Said can turn in his grave as he pleases – like a spit roast, for all I care. (Yeah, take that outdated university humanity syllabuses; I am so over you).
On my way back to Bharmour, with the light of the day dimming fast, I stumbled quite literally into a Gaddi wedding. I found it in one of the many preliminary stages of the Indian marriage process, in which the groom and his family visit the bride’s family home and are subjected to a variety of interminable rituals, where Sanskrit is mumbled by a dour-faced Brahmin and an array of sparkly things are thrown everywhere. (They do like their sparkly things, Indians.) The bride’s house was a pearl-white, heavily pillared, mock-Palladian monstrosity, of the sort that South Asian villagers often have built on arriving into big money, having first demolished their beautiful ancestral homes and sold off their carved wooden window frames. A sort of rural Indian bling, I suppose, and a sure sign of status in the community.
A young man dressed in a Western suit – the rest wore pyjamas and turbans – caught my eye and ushered me into the throng of guests in the courtyard. I found myself a patch of ground and squatted awkwardly, as a vast and sickly bounty of sweets was shoved in my face. In the corner was perched a group of elderly village ladies, who sang hypnotic, melancholy folk songs in the Gaddi language – so the young suited man informed me, as he kept up a running commentary on the proceedings. A brother of the groom, he now lived in Ludhiana, a large industrial city in the Punjab, and was training in the hospitality industry. ‘An area of growth,’ he stated proudly, going to on to suggest plans of moving abroad. When I announced my exit, he escorted me out of the house, and fought off a mentally challenged villager who lunged at me on the footpath outside.
The following evening I was taking a stroll down the hillside, to investigate another Gaddi village a little below Bharmour. It was around half six, and the sky was just beginning to darken. The perfect time of day for walking – pleasantly cool, with everything under a soft, golden light. Having a good look around the village, I continued further down the hillside. As I made my way along a narrow dirt path that bordered a stream, I encountered a middle-aged Gaddi man shepherding two cows back to the village. He had a curved black moustache and a red pillar-box hat with a feather tucked into the front.
On seeing me he started, and began waving furiously with gestures that spoke: ‘get the fuck back to the village – right now, idiot.’ He repeatedly shouted ‘balu! balu!’ – which translates as ‘bear’, as Jungle Book enthusiasts can easily attest to – and made scratching motions across his face. It became clear that vicious bears roamed the wooded hillside at dusk; it was a dangerously stupid time of day to be taking a ramble. Not doubting his authority on the local wildlife and its capacity for violence, I followed him back to the village, where he showed me his orchard and harangued me into taking four of his reddest, ripest apples. He then escorted me to his house, introduced me to his wife, offered tea, and even implored me to stay for the night. Reeling at this onslaught of Gaddi hospitality, I made my excuses and hurried back to Bharmour before the sun fell.
The bus ride back to Chamba began at 6.30 am after my second night in Bharmour, with very few passengers on board – in India, to think! The rusted vehicle started to trundle, with much deafening clanking and thundering, down the narrow mountain path. The ash-white mist that had gathered in the night thinned as the sun rose higher. An hour into it the bus was waved down by a group of men stood in the middle of the road. A landslide had happened – I wasn’t to miss out after all; joy – and we joined a queue of stationary vehicles, waiting for a double-team of JCBs to push a considerable heap of boulders into the valley bellow. It took them only around half an hour – excellent machines, JCBs – and we were on our way again, with no further rock-related fun to enliven our journey.
At Chamba I changed buses and continued onto Dalhousie, one of those former British administrative hillstations, like Shimla and Mussoorie and Darjeeling, replete with mock-Tudor houses, Anglican churches, elite boarding schools and elderly Indian men with handlebar moustaches and stripy woollen pullovers. Like McLeod Ganj, it was named after another of the infinite Scotsmen who administered the Raj. The scene was set by the Dalhousie Club (est. 1895) near the bus stand, a venerable colonial institution with a wood-panelled interior decorated with hunting trophies and framed black-and-white photographs of sunburnt Britishers in shorts and pith helmets. The monsoon had reduced the badminton court outside to a sad swamp, and it was clear that the place had seen finer decades. There being a number of barracks stationed a little below Dalhousie – the town was founded as a military garrison – the Club membership now consists largely of pudgy army officers, the ‘old chaps’ who still maintain their crusty Edwardian speech and affectations, alongside a fondness for imported Scotch whisky.
I’d love to tell you more about Dalhousie, but there simply isn’t much to the town. Not that that’s a criticism; it’s the sort of place to stroll around idly, admiring the beautiful vista of rolling greens hills and steep river valleys, preferably equipped with a pipe, walking stick and a membership card to the local tennis club. I wasn’t properly equipped, tragically, but I had a pleasant enough couple of days. Indeed, it was the sort of ‘pleasant’ not normally associated with India – more with the Cotswolds or Stratford upon Avon. I headed back to McLeod Ganj at 7:15 am – as scenic a five hour bus ride as I could possibly have asked for. I arrived mid-afternoon, and there they were: white people – everywhere.
I’ve just checked my word count – 2,629. Gosh, I thought to myself; the work I put in for you people! What’s my motivation? Attention seeking, perhaps, alongside a selfless desire to inform and entertain – naturally. Anyhow, I can’t be bothered to type any more. I could tell you about Chandigarh and Delhi – and then there’s the small matter that I happen to be writing all this from Sri Lanka, a beautiful and fascinating island I could also go on about at length. But I grow weary and the word count keeps going up the more I type. (Funny, that.) So, I shall leave you all hanging, vertiginously, unable to get on with your lives and plagued with loss of sleep. Bye for now.
I hope I have painted a suitably lurid picture – because it is lurid (trust me), and quite enough to chill the blood of any sensible Englishman, for whom enlightenment is an altogether distasteful project and yoga an inoffensive form of physical exercise, nothing more. When you start moaning about ‘bloody white people’ you know its time to move on to somewhere a little less trodden over. And so I took the bus to Chamba, a town in north-western Himachal Pradesh – to accept the wholesome sandwich of destiny that fate would serve me.
It was a change to another extreme: I must have been the only ‘bloody white person’ in a hundred mile radius. Only bloody Indians – friendly, expansive Indians, I must add. Living in such a cosmopolitan country as England (less so Scotland, but still), it can come as a surprise just how racially uniform much of the rest of the world is. Despite the monolithic north-south/Aryan-Dravidian divide, a small and dwindling population of Chinese in Calcutta, and the notable exception of the heavily tribal areas of Chhattisgarh, Orissa, and the North-Eastern states (Mizoram, Manipur, Nagaland and so on), India is a strikingly mono-ethnic nation. Even metropolitan centres like Delhi and Bombay are completely free of the ethnic ghetto-isation that characterise cities in the West; there is nothing akin to the Latino or Russian ‘quarters’ you’d find in New York, or the Thai restaurants run by immigrant Thais you’d find in London. Just a hell of a lot of Indians – 1.2 billion of them, last I saw. An Indian equivalent of the BNP wouldn’t know where to start – there simply aren’t enough foreigners to blame stuff on (although Muslims too often constitute the other in Indian society, as BJP rhetoric has been known to attest to).
It is one of the most striking imbalances between first and third world nations, a cosmopolitan drain from the south to the global north. Perhaps the see-saw will tip the other way, with the decline of Euro-America and the rise of Chindia, as the dual (if uneven) rise of the two nations has been crassly labelled. Imagine: the British, a beleaguered minority in India, descendants of economic migrants, populating the more deprived sectors of Delhi and Bombay – not inconceivable. Britain has certainly become a less appetising place in which to forge one’s career/fortune, and even America has lost something of its promised-land allure. There are certainly far fewer Indians seeking a fresh start for themselves and their families in Britain. Why would they want to go there? Far better to move to Bombay and live in one of its festering slums, waiting for the breaks that land for the lucky few.
I had arrived in Chamba right smack in the middle of the annual harvest festival: something of a park fair held on a football pitch, complete with ferris wheels, candyfloss vendors, promotional stalls, a stage hosting god-awful Hindi pop music performances (which extended far into the night, cutting into my precious sleep) and no discernable reference to agriculture. It proved a mixed blessing for me. Although I got to witness a bizarre and slightly grotesque parody of English fairground culture, which is always fun, finding a room for the night was a prolonged, harrowing nightmare. I eventually found somewhere, at double this price it should have been, and went off to see Chamba’s historic and rather beautiful temples, which relieved an otherwise rather dull, workaday provincial town.
I headed to Bharmour the next morning. My guidebook described the road there as a ‘perilous track prone to frequent landslides.’ No understatement; it was one of the most terrifying three and a half hours of my life. I’d almost sooner sit through David Fincher’s The Curious Case of Benjamin Button again. Wait, actually, no; I’d rather fancy my chances with tumbling boulders. Anyhow, I arrived at around lunch time, safe and thankful, without having faced any serious challenges to my mortality. The entrance to the small town was framed by a multi-coloured, fairy-cake archway of lurid pinks and blues, with the gods Hanuman and Ganesh stood in giant relief on either pillar – the cheery sentinels of Bharmour.
Many complain about the creeping Punjabi-isation of Himachal Pradesh. Punjabis, I must add, with their allegedly course speech and manners and brash displays of wealth – theirs is the richest state in the country – are subjected in India to the similar sort of snobbery the British reserve for the ‘done-good’ Essex man. Delhi, for instance, is often said to have been ‘invaded by the Punjab’, and it is true that Punjabi immigrants make up much of Delhi’s new entrepreneurial class. Bharmour, however, remains the stoutly traditional home of the Gaddi Rajputs – a pastoral, goat-grazing people with their own language and idiosyncratic store of Hindu folklore, and one of the indigenous peoples of the Indian Himalaya.
I once had a rather bizarre conversation – more of lecture, as I noted half an hour into it – with a Gaddi travel agent in McLeod Ganj. The man launched into a mournful paean to his (apparently) dwindling people, and the ignominy they had suffered under the incursions of mainstream Indian society, with its aberrant plans for the ‘modernisation’ of their ancestral lands. He went on and on, as I sat there nodding, claiming the Gaddi to be the original guardians of India’s natural inheritance, who still considered the Aryans (the stock from which North Indians generally derive their ancestry) to be foreign intruders who continue to misuse and exploit their land.
It was the stuff of a tear-jerking Bollywood historical epic – The Last of the Gaddis, in which evil pot-bellied developers start crapping all over the sacred wood, until a young hero (whose parents are savagely killed by a JCB in the opening frames) takes up the family bow-and-arrow, unused since the days of his great grandfather, and begins the fight for his people. A few song-and-dance numbers may need to thrown in, a crafty Pakistani would need to rear his head at some point, and large-breasted women in wet saris might need to gyrate inexplicably around the hero for a bit – but that should be enough to secure some Bombay mafia funding.
Bharmour itself had a collection of exquisite ancient Shiva temples arranged around a paved square at the heart of town, which also served as school yard where smartly dressed children ran around hitting each other. That was about it – so I headed out of town onto the hillside that rose steeply above Bharmour, with the purpose of stumbling awkwardly into the traditional Gaddi villages that dotted the area. This I did with zest.
The peasant locals didn’t know what hit them; as with Chamba, I was the only foreigner around. Kids spotted me from a while off, peering through their wooden window frames, and began jumping up and down, unable to contain their excitement at the approach of a sweaty white man in a Tintin in Tibet t-shirt (a bit of McLeod Ganj chic there). Old men in grimed waistcoats, hunched over their walking sticks, stared at me with a mixture of suspicion and dry amusement – some ventured to ask the question I have lobbed at me several times a day in South Asia: ‘what is your country?’ (Often suffixed with ‘sir’ or ‘friend’, and sometimes extended into an elaborate interrogation session, in which my name, my age, my marital status and my father’s job is teased from me with steely determination.) The women, normally a diminutive bunch in India, looked up from their weaving or dusting or clothes-thrashing to grin warmly at me. Even the livestock appeared interested, albeit a little disturbed.
I have yet to receive this sort of treatment in a British country village – although I would certainly welcome it. What with the industrial revolution, we no longer have any proper peasants to speak of (except maybe in Wales, but that’s just Wales, and they’re welcome to them). Shame. I want our peasants back.
I made my way upwards through the roughly paved streets of a Gaddi village. The houses were handsome, crumbling rectangles supported by finely carved wooden beams and sheltered with layerings of slate tiles. They followed a simple rustic formula: humans on the overhanging first floor, cows and chickens on the cracked stone courtyard beneath, with a warped wooden ladder connecting the two. Children with healthy layers of dirt on their faces teased the cows as they munched thoughtfully on dry grass and shat elegantly onto the paving stones. Women with patterned headscarves returned from the fields at sunfall with wicker baskets of freshly scythed crop on their backs. Elderly patriarchs sat smoking pipes, framed in their door lintels. It was precisely this sort of bucolic rural Arcadia, belying a hardy lifestyle, which drew me to this remote corner of Himachal Pradesh. I am an unrepentant Orientalist. Edward Said can turn in his grave as he pleases – like a spit roast, for all I care. (Yeah, take that outdated university humanity syllabuses; I am so over you).
On my way back to Bharmour, with the light of the day dimming fast, I stumbled quite literally into a Gaddi wedding. I found it in one of the many preliminary stages of the Indian marriage process, in which the groom and his family visit the bride’s family home and are subjected to a variety of interminable rituals, where Sanskrit is mumbled by a dour-faced Brahmin and an array of sparkly things are thrown everywhere. (They do like their sparkly things, Indians.) The bride’s house was a pearl-white, heavily pillared, mock-Palladian monstrosity, of the sort that South Asian villagers often have built on arriving into big money, having first demolished their beautiful ancestral homes and sold off their carved wooden window frames. A sort of rural Indian bling, I suppose, and a sure sign of status in the community.
A young man dressed in a Western suit – the rest wore pyjamas and turbans – caught my eye and ushered me into the throng of guests in the courtyard. I found myself a patch of ground and squatted awkwardly, as a vast and sickly bounty of sweets was shoved in my face. In the corner was perched a group of elderly village ladies, who sang hypnotic, melancholy folk songs in the Gaddi language – so the young suited man informed me, as he kept up a running commentary on the proceedings. A brother of the groom, he now lived in Ludhiana, a large industrial city in the Punjab, and was training in the hospitality industry. ‘An area of growth,’ he stated proudly, going to on to suggest plans of moving abroad. When I announced my exit, he escorted me out of the house, and fought off a mentally challenged villager who lunged at me on the footpath outside.
The following evening I was taking a stroll down the hillside, to investigate another Gaddi village a little below Bharmour. It was around half six, and the sky was just beginning to darken. The perfect time of day for walking – pleasantly cool, with everything under a soft, golden light. Having a good look around the village, I continued further down the hillside. As I made my way along a narrow dirt path that bordered a stream, I encountered a middle-aged Gaddi man shepherding two cows back to the village. He had a curved black moustache and a red pillar-box hat with a feather tucked into the front.
On seeing me he started, and began waving furiously with gestures that spoke: ‘get the fuck back to the village – right now, idiot.’ He repeatedly shouted ‘balu! balu!’ – which translates as ‘bear’, as Jungle Book enthusiasts can easily attest to – and made scratching motions across his face. It became clear that vicious bears roamed the wooded hillside at dusk; it was a dangerously stupid time of day to be taking a ramble. Not doubting his authority on the local wildlife and its capacity for violence, I followed him back to the village, where he showed me his orchard and harangued me into taking four of his reddest, ripest apples. He then escorted me to his house, introduced me to his wife, offered tea, and even implored me to stay for the night. Reeling at this onslaught of Gaddi hospitality, I made my excuses and hurried back to Bharmour before the sun fell.
The bus ride back to Chamba began at 6.30 am after my second night in Bharmour, with very few passengers on board – in India, to think! The rusted vehicle started to trundle, with much deafening clanking and thundering, down the narrow mountain path. The ash-white mist that had gathered in the night thinned as the sun rose higher. An hour into it the bus was waved down by a group of men stood in the middle of the road. A landslide had happened – I wasn’t to miss out after all; joy – and we joined a queue of stationary vehicles, waiting for a double-team of JCBs to push a considerable heap of boulders into the valley bellow. It took them only around half an hour – excellent machines, JCBs – and we were on our way again, with no further rock-related fun to enliven our journey.
At Chamba I changed buses and continued onto Dalhousie, one of those former British administrative hillstations, like Shimla and Mussoorie and Darjeeling, replete with mock-Tudor houses, Anglican churches, elite boarding schools and elderly Indian men with handlebar moustaches and stripy woollen pullovers. Like McLeod Ganj, it was named after another of the infinite Scotsmen who administered the Raj. The scene was set by the Dalhousie Club (est. 1895) near the bus stand, a venerable colonial institution with a wood-panelled interior decorated with hunting trophies and framed black-and-white photographs of sunburnt Britishers in shorts and pith helmets. The monsoon had reduced the badminton court outside to a sad swamp, and it was clear that the place had seen finer decades. There being a number of barracks stationed a little below Dalhousie – the town was founded as a military garrison – the Club membership now consists largely of pudgy army officers, the ‘old chaps’ who still maintain their crusty Edwardian speech and affectations, alongside a fondness for imported Scotch whisky.
I’d love to tell you more about Dalhousie, but there simply isn’t much to the town. Not that that’s a criticism; it’s the sort of place to stroll around idly, admiring the beautiful vista of rolling greens hills and steep river valleys, preferably equipped with a pipe, walking stick and a membership card to the local tennis club. I wasn’t properly equipped, tragically, but I had a pleasant enough couple of days. Indeed, it was the sort of ‘pleasant’ not normally associated with India – more with the Cotswolds or Stratford upon Avon. I headed back to McLeod Ganj at 7:15 am – as scenic a five hour bus ride as I could possibly have asked for. I arrived mid-afternoon, and there they were: white people – everywhere.
I’ve just checked my word count – 2,629. Gosh, I thought to myself; the work I put in for you people! What’s my motivation? Attention seeking, perhaps, alongside a selfless desire to inform and entertain – naturally. Anyhow, I can’t be bothered to type any more. I could tell you about Chandigarh and Delhi – and then there’s the small matter that I happen to be writing all this from Sri Lanka, a beautiful and fascinating island I could also go on about at length. But I grow weary and the word count keeps going up the more I type. (Funny, that.) So, I shall leave you all hanging, vertiginously, unable to get on with your lives and plagued with loss of sleep. Bye for now.